Tough Mudder you are a clever minx.  Saved the best obstacles for last did you?  Nicely done.   Three of the hardest, scariest, most talked about obstacles were strategically placed at the end of the race when everyone’s energy is depleted and pulling together as a team will be the only thing that gets you through.  Of all the obstacles we conquered, the team-based activities were far and above my favorite.  Below are my top three.

“Funky Monkey”

My personal goal for TM 2013 was to make it through the Funky Monkey, which is monkey bars on steriods.  This obstacle required grit, stamina, upper body strength and a decision going in that I wasn’t going to fail.  The bars go up in elevation then back down, were wet, and rotated in their slots.  Oh yes.  Awesomeness.

Victory pose.  From left to right:  Emily, me, Camilla, and Megan

I lost some skin to the Funky Monkey but I didn’t quit and I conquered it.  Much to Kevin’s amusement, I made it across, landed on the platform and turned around and did a victory pose and shouted much profanity.  MUCH profanity.  Oh my.

“Mount Everest”

I wish I had photos of our team completing this obstacle.  Our token race camera had long since worn out its battery.  This is strictly do or die by team.

The area in front of this obstacle was very sandy and it was hard to get up any speed, which is critical to making it up.  Also, by the time we made it here it was muddy from all the Mudders who had gone before us.

The guys all made it up first, no problem.  They positioned themselves at the top to catch us girls if we made it anywhere close.   I closed my eyes and prayed, then opened my eyes and ran.  The key is to run as hard and fast as you can straight up.  However running in sand equates to a slow jog and I just knew I wasn’t going to make it.  I looked up at Kevin and Dave each with arms hanging down to catch me and thought just make it to their hands.  I picked up speed and believed with everything in me that if I could just make it to my team then they would catch me.  So I ran hard, faster and faster, up the side til I just started to lose grip and then I closed my eyes reached out and jumped.  Just like that I felt their hands grab me.  Each guy grabbed an  arm. We locked hands at exactly the right moment and they had me.  Just like I knew they would.  Up and over the side in a textbook version of conquering Mount Everest.  There was nothing but complete and utter faith in these two teammates right then.

You guys were every good thing I’ve ever known or trusted in anyone.

Dave and Kevin.  ROCK STARS.

“Electroshock Therapy”

ET was the final obstacle of our race.   By this point we were broken and battered, bloody and limping, and at least one of us had a fat lip from gently kissing Mount Everest’s wooden ramp on the way up.   In other words, we were mentally and physically done.  All that was left was to cross the finish line which in this case was strewn with thick mud, hay bales and electrical wires.  I’m not talking a gently annoying shock.  This was a lock you up and throw you face first in the mud kind of shock.  My one piece of advice here is keep your arms up.  Hitting a hot wire with your arms is better than with your face and when you get knocked down, and you will, your arms will hopefully cushion you from landing face first.  I say hopefully because we tried this technique and all still face-planted.   I firmly believe the mud is there to keep racers from losing teeth.  Kevin described this as human lawn darts.  We couldn’t run straight through with any speed because we had to jump over hay bales.  When we jumped we hit the hot wires everything locked up.   The mud was extremely slippery.  The wires were very hot.  It was a disaster of epic proportions.  If you ever need a laugh watch Electroshock Therapy videos on Youtube.  Its good stuff.

During this obstacle we fell, and we fell hard.  At the end I rinsed Leah’s eye out with a cup of water and used the one halfway clean finger I had to wipe the remaining mud out of her other eye.  That moment summed up Tough Mudder.  I’ll give my last sip of water and my last clean fingertip to give you one good eye to see out of.  It doesn’t get more real than that.

We finished this obstacle, some of us on our hands and knees, stood up, and received our orange finisher sweat bands.

Coming up next –  Tough Mudder – crushed it.