Draft Day Reminder

Ladies – Its draft day. I plan to win and play to win, but never actually do win. I’ve made my peace with it. No really. I’m not bitter. I’ve come to terms with it. In order to pump myself up to dominate the losers bracket, I watched an oldie but goodie video clip that reminds me of what football is really about. David Beckham in his underwear. Equally awesome: listening to the cameraman (camera girl? camera daughter?) giggling while recording my reaction to it. Enjoy her short video and check out the original commercial if you missed it. (Go Bears!)

Campers, Scamp(ers), and Tents

One of our biggest concerns planning this trip is the cost of hotels for a month. Even splitting the cost of a room really adds up times 30 days. Based on economics alone, Louise and I agreed that we will have to rough it at least some of the time. We’ve narrowed our options down to a few choices we can live with and hope that each could save us some money in the long run.

First up – Campers.

We like the idea of a very lightweight camper possibly of the pop-up variety. It would be need to be light enough to pull easily and also sturdy enough not to fall apart halfway through the trip. This is kind of what we were picturing:

Popup1

The upside to bringing our bed with us is that would could cut down on the loading and unloading at each stop. We would always have a place to sleep and we could control how clean and bug free it is. The down side is that it there would be an initial investment to purchase the camper and it would also increase our gas bill to tow it, no matter how light. We could generally recoup most of our initial investment after the trip if we sell the popup but we would still have to come up with the money up front. Also, towing anything across the country just seems like more hassle than its worth.

We also looked at drivable campers. Our top two based on the coolness factor are as follows:

I realize these are short buses but the opportunities are endless for a custom built road trip beast when starting with a short bus like these shown above. The downside and probably the deciding factor here is the cost to upgrade one of these into a lean mean camping machine.

I also found this:

A teal blue VW camper van. Say WHAT. I almost don’t want to share the link in case someone else is shopping for a similar vehicle but I will so that you all can check out the ad and the full set of photos: http://tallahassee.craigslist.org/cto/4001013059.html This is one bad boy right here. It might be my hearts desire to drive a bright blue popup van across the country. I’m really feeling this. Louise doesn’t know about it yet. I may have to bribe her with cupcakes. As far as drivable campers go, the VW is my top pick and the color really seals the deal for me.

The Scamp

Louise stumbled across this lovely creature and sent it to me:

Now we are talking. This particular gem of a camper is one that she found on our local Craigslist. The “Scamp” is one of a kind and we fell instantly and irrevocably in love with its class and charm. See complete ad HERE This baby has critters on it and a one of a kind vintage interior that screams road trip.

scamp2

scamp3

Unfortunately this genteel home away from home also carries a price tag that is over our budget. Alas Scamp, it wasn’t meant to be but I’ll always love you best.

Camping – Tent Style

Sleeping in a tent seems the most economical route and though we’d still have to pay a fee to camp in a campground we would have access to showers and other campground amenities such as a pool and WiFi. The problem with tent camping is that in true Thelma and Louise style, we have no idea what we are doing so of course that makes it the most appealing option for both of us. After all, this road trip is supposed to be an adventure and nothing says adventure like sleeping in a tent, right?

If we go this route, we’d need to buy a tent, sleeping bags, cushions or air mattresses, and a host of other things we know nothing about because we know nothing about camping. The equipment would take up some room in the car but it would still be more economical than towing a popup or a Scamp. At the close of the last discussion on this option, we loosely decided to borrow a tent and equipment from any family members willing to loan it and take a test trip in the mountains of north Georgia and see how this camping business actually works. We looked at KOA campgrounds but would love any suggestions on secret alternatives that professional campers know about but usually don’t tell wannabe campers like us.

Any real campers out there want to chime in on how exactly two women and two children should go about learning to camp? What do we need to bring? What can we do without? Is camping safe or will we be eaten by wild chipmunks in our sleep? What kind of tent do we need? Also, has anyone ever heard of a SylvanSport Go?

This is a hybrid camper/tent on wheels. We love it. We lust after it. We also can’t afford it but it’s amazing and would be the perfect solution to our sleeping issue if it magically appeared in my driveway. Throw some comments my way if you know a tent from a hole in the ground and think you can shed some light.

Road Trip 2014?

Lately I’ve had the urge to get in my car and drive. The funny thing is, I want to drive along the coast of the entire continental United States. No short trips for me. Go big or go home. I talked this up so much that I convinced Louise and her son to go with me. Not that Louise needs much convincing to join on an adventure mind you. She is pretty much game for whatever crazy scheme I can dream up. She’s just awesome that way. We loosely master-minded a plan to drive around the country for about a month next summer. We aren’t sure if we can get the time off. We may have to camp which neither of us knows anything about. I know for a fact that at least two of the four of us get car sick. This is going to be great though. I can feel it in my bones.

Has anyone ever done this type of trip with two kids in tow? Should we camp? How detailed should our itinerary be? How is it possible for the country’s biggest metal rooster statue to be in more than one state? These are the burning questions we need answered.

We looked a map and have a general idea of the route we would take. We found some good websites that list places of interest as we go. So what’s next in planning a trip of this magnitude? Any advice out there?

Next up – Campers, Scamp(ers) and Tents.

Cinderella wears Converse?

Today at work a tiny green Converse sneaker showed up in the hallway outside my office. There wasn’t anyone walking around when I noticed it and no one came by to claim it. I initially thought it was a ploy by Dobby to be set free. Maybe if I picked it up and handed it to him then poof no more house work required? I also thought that maybe Cinderella had gone modern and wears green Chucks now to clean her castle. She has small feet and a history of leaving one shoe behind. Lets be real – we all knew she’d get tired of those glass slippers eventually. Or maybe it belonged to a leprechaun? It was tiny and green and well ok I was stretching at that point.

As far as I know, neither Dobby nor Cinderella came to claim this lonely Chuck. I didn’t see any leprechauns lurking about either. If anyone has any other ideas or knows a wee little person, princess or mythical creature that has misplaced their shoe have them give me a call at my office. I’d like to reunite this lonely tiny shoe with its small-footed owner.

Back that thang up…

Why is it when backing a trailer it goes every direction except the direction I want it to go? Seriously. My aunt Whitney says the majority of divorces start at the boat ramp. After launching a boat a few times, I believe her. There is something so maddening about seeing the back end of the trailer swing around in exactly the opposite direction of where it should go, where I want it to go. I am hearing a certain line from Happy Gilmore right now. Something about go to your home?

Stupid boat. Justing kidding. I don’t mean that. I love the boat. I don’t actually love backing it. On a stroke of genius, I did actually practice backing the darn thing before I hauled it home to my VERY narrow driveway and carport off a busy street in the center of the city.

For all you would be boaters, my advice is practice backing before you try it at the boat ramp. Practice for hours. Practice until you want to scream or cry or both, and then back it up some more. If you are going to jack-knife it and shout profanity (not that I did this I swear), do it in private before attempting this in front of an audience.

I can’t say what works for everyone but this is what worked for me:

First, I left the boat at my grandparents house in the country until I knew I could back it successfully without wrecking my car, boat, or house. I practiced backing it in a straight line up and down their driveway. For an hour. My car has three advantages – a backup camera, a hatch that opens and seats that fold down flat. The camera allows me to hook up the boat solo because I can see exactly where the hitch is compared to the trailer. The open hatch and flat seats allow me to watch which direction the boat is going as I’m backing and correct it quickly. See below – this is how I learned to back it in a straight line and this is how I do it at the ramp also.

The second part of backing is turning. I set out reusable grocery bags as markers and practiced backing and turning the boat between the “markers.” I started with the bags a few feet wider than the trailer on each side and with each practice run, scooted them closer to the trailer, pulled forward up the driveway, and backed it back up into the narrower space. I repeated this until I was able to turn it back it into a space that was exactly as wide as the trailer wheels without running over or touching my bags. Several hours were spent on this. It was frustrating and entirely irritating until I started to get the hang of it (around the two hour mark maybe.)

My coworker gave me this little tip: place your hand at the bottom of the steering wheel. Whichever way your hand goes, the back of the trailer will go. If you turn hand to the left, the back of the trailer goes left. It really works.

At the boat ramp I open the hatch and put the seats down just like I did when I was learning. It makes the process considerably easier for me though the more experienced boaters laugh at this. I also do this when putting my boat in the carport. Don’t be afraid to do what works best for you.

End result: successful backing. I have about two inches of space on the right and about 18″ on the left.

Fits like a glove.

Fuchsia Pumps Unite.

Nothing screams rainy Saturday chores like a visit to Publix for toilet paper and ground beef. Here is where it gets interesting though. Ella has left for the day to live her busy 11 year old life. She’s my go-to stylist and monitors what I wear in public. Thats right I said it. She dresses me. Since she’s not here to get embarrassed, I’m going to rock a few of my favorites. The problem is my favorites don’t all love each other. In fact these favorites get along about as well as siblings born two years apart, sitting next to each other on 12 hour road trip. Which is to say they don’t get along at all. She would never let me do this if she was here. But I’m grown, I don’t care, I do what I want, and hopefully she won’t find out.

What’s about to go down:

Best jeans ever. Silver Tuesday. Bought them on eBay with the holes already in them. $15 maybe including shipping. Favorite brown belt from the Gap. It is well loved and has been accidentally washed. Twice.

Flogging Molly tshirt that I got at a Flogging Molly concert. You can listen here. You haven’t lived til you’ve heard them live.

And these Fuchsia pumps I just picked up yesterday to wear with a nice dress to dinner. These are my new favorite shoes.

Thats right. Any fashion-fearless friends want to meet for some grocery shopping statement making? Hit me up. Wear your best grocery shopping pumps. Fuchsia Pumps Unite.

Owned by a boat

I’ve been dreaming about owning my own boat for years. I’ve faithfully watched Craigslist, checked eBay, and looked at boats on the side of the road. This year I finally got serious and decided to buy one. First step – got a trailer hitch on my car. This may not seem like a big deal, but for me who has never upgraded any vehicle I’ve ever owned, it was a huge step. I knew if I wanted a boat I’d need a way to pull it so I started with a hitch.

I highly recommend Capital Hitch in Tallahassee. They were quick, reasonably priced, and did good work.

Next step – find a boat. My uncle Scott was critical here. After much discussion, we decided I needed something small (16′ or less), something light and unsinkable (hello Carolina Skiff!), something not new (because lets face it I’m going to ding it up), good small engine with electric start, and no center consoles since it takes up too much room in a boat that size. Turns out my laundry list of wants was pretty similar to everyone else looking for a boat and the good ones were getting snapped up as soon as they listed.

My uncle didn’t give up and after much patience and persistence he found the perfect boat for me for sale in another city not too far from here. Thursday afternoon he spotted this one and called me to say I should take tomorrow off and go get this boat. He was certain it wouldn’t last til the weekend. Coming from him that’s a tall order so that’s exactly what I did- I arranged to see this perfect boat first thing Friday morning. After getting off the phone with my uncle, I immediately called my Grandpa and enlisted his help with this project. He agreed to ride along and check things out for me.

We left first Friday morning and arrived at “The Boat” around 9am. I fell instantly and irrevocably in love. Completely out of my element and knowing nothing about boats, I stood by gazing soulfully while my Grandpa checked things over stem to stern. He gave the nod of approval and told me I was safe to make an offer.

After a minimum of negotiation, I was the proud new owner of a 14′ Carolina Skiff.

I very carefully hooked up the trailer, the process of which was made much easier by a backup camera, and very tenderly hauled it back to town. I dropped it off with my Grandpa for a few minor adjustments and headed on home happily owned by this boat.

From dream to conception this little project was about three years in the making.

Next up – Learning to back a trailer.

Louise’s exploding microwave eggs

Did you know that if you put eggs in a cup of water in the microwave and attempt to cook them for 12 minutes (12 minutes!) that things will not end well? Oh you did know that?

Louise (oh hey Leah!) was utterly convinced that she could boil two eggs by putting them in a cup of water in the microwave. For TWELVE minutes. I believe she must have had a few secret doubts about how this would turn out because she used the small microwave in the back of our office instead of the big expensive one in our break room. This generally indicates that the microwave egg chef believes subconsciously that the cooking process may lead to an explosion.

So here goes nothing says Louise. Two eggs in an oversized Winnie the Pooh coffee cup with water. Into the low watt microwave. 12 minutes and press start. She walks away so as not to have to witness the carnage. Leaning in my office doorway she tells me what she is doing. Me, being the good Thelma that I am, tell her this is a very bad idea and the results may well be disastrous. She of course doesn’t believe me and laughs off my concern. Somewhere around the five minute mark we hear a loud boom from across the hall. Louise stands there with a puzzled look on her face and we both say “what the heck was that?” *lightbulb moment* Louise shouts “Oh! My eggs!” And quickly runs back to check on the situation.

Turns out cooking eggs in the microwave, cup of water or not, will actually result in an explosion with enough force to blow open the microwave door and fling eggs across the room.

Moral of this story? Don’t let your coworkers take photographic evidence of your attempt to boil eggs in the shell in the microwave for 12 minutes unless you want to be a rock star.

Louise – I salute your creative culinary skills. You are a microwave legend.

Legendary Louise on the left, Thelma on the right. Love you L!

Like a BOSS.

The first real lunch break that Leah and I took after TM, which was our first real lunch break in six months, I apparently had a race flashback and this happened:

Let me back up and give a little background information. Paint the scene if you will. We had a relatively peaceful lunch but came outside to this:

Some kind citizen had parked so closely that I couldn’t open my door. Hmm. There was much discussion between myself and Leah (aka Louise, as in Thelma’s better half) and we narrowed it down to the following options:

We can either

A) go back inside, cause a scene, and ask the car’s owner to move it

B) climb in the window.

Decisions decisions…..

Leah was supposed to keep watch and make sure no one was looking or video recording this for five minutes of fame on Youtube. Instead, being the good friend that she is, she documented the ally-oop process for her own enjoyment and now here is it for your viewing pleasure as well.

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